Yes, I skipped yesterday. The highlight was Jim taking Grandma to a doctor’s appointment. See – not even fun for Grandma.
Today was a fun day though. It was lunch with Invalid Laurie Day. You know… the one with the foot surgery? Well, given lunch options, Laurie picked Publix subs. A damn good choice, I must say.
Publix was a pain in the ass. Everyone ahead of us wanted Philly cheese steaks or toasted subs which adds to the prep time. An older lady in front of us, who surely was from another planet and had never ordered a sub in her life, asked for a Philly. With the toppings she selected, the deli gal asked if she was sure that’s what she wanted. Ms. Alien replied, “I’m not sure.” The deli woman had to ask several questions to clarify. Among them - “Did you just want a roast beef sandwich?” She wasn’t sure. She looked up as if to get guidance from the Mothership. She finally decided, with the help of her alien friends, a roast beef sandwich is just fine. After several toppings were on the sandwich, she asked to have it “heated”. I sighed. The deli lady sighed. I think the sandwich sighed. Couldn’t she just use her laser to heat it up later? Deli lady asks, “toasted? I’ll have to take the toppings off now.” Ms. Alien assures her all is right with the world and just toast it like it is. She adds, “Besides, I’m going back to Indiana (code word for home planet, I’m sure) so I won’t be here to bother you again. They all giggled. I sighed.
We arrived to Laurie’s. Toby, the mean monster dog was locked up. It’s a short stubby dog. Jim says like a German Sheppard that someone forgot to put legs on. It barked and scratched at the bedroom door, begging for a taste of my ankles.
We ate. We laughed. I signed her cast.
Gotta go. Jim and I ran out of foil…
God, you are such a dork. But you really outdid yourself with this post. I was worth waiting the extra day for. Especially these:
ReplyDelete"She looked up as if to get guidance from the Mothership."
"Couldn’t she just use her laser to heat it up later?"
I love you.
You really would have loved to SEE him describe that. It was Garret. Everybody has laughed when they've seen what you signed. I feel like a walking billboard for your blog. Like I didn't already tell everyone I know to follow you. Thanks for great lunch and the awesome company. He's not really a bad dog, he's just drawn that way. I'm sorry about him though. I don't understand how he can be the sweetest dog most of the time and then out of know where he's Cujo. Anyway, Thanks again guys, I really enjoyed it. I'll be home for awhile so we'll have to do it again. Love you
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