3-14-10 Sunday (Time For A Change)

The time change.  Why, oh why can’t I just accept a time change without spending a day or 2 constantly doing mathematical calculations every time I look at the time?  Wow, I used the word “time” 3 times in one sentence.  Anyway – I glance at the time and then add or subtract and hour to figure out what time it used to be.  Why do I do this?  Anyone else?

With recent rains and warm weather, practically over night there’s been beautiful bloomed pink trees all over town.  Maybe Cherry Blossoms or Okame Cherry or Kwanzan Cherry.  Other research on the internet suggests Crepe Myrtles.  They are gorgeous, whatever the hell they are.  I’ll try to snap a photo later today when we’re out and about.

I wasn’t going to admit another meal at a Chinese buffet.  We’ve sworn them off for a while though (according to Jim).  I’m gonna place the blame primarily on Jim and second on me.  I suggested having Healthy Choice TV dinners for lunch and he replied, “We could do that or” and so it went.  Sure I could have been strong but when it comes to dieting, I’m easily swayed.  Too easy in fact.

Despite our fattening lunch decision, we absolutely had the best time.  I’ll preface this by telling you that back in 2008, I posted a Walmart Bingo card here.  Last week I poked fun at Chinese buffets, here.  This time, Jim and I had so much fun at the restaurant and we came up with a bingo/check list of sorts.  Common stuff at Chinese restaurants:

1. Numbered tables:  What the hell?  Why do 90% of the Chinese restaurants have numbers some where on the wall or table?  Can they learn the table numbers just like every other restaurant?
2. Cheese stuffed mushrooms: Cheese?  How many Chinese dishes do you know that have cheese in them?  And why is that anyway?  What do they have against cheese?
3. Illuminated art: Sometimes, you even get a bonus for being illuminated AND being animated/motion photos!
4. Lame desserts: We’re never impressed.  At least they usually have ice cream. 
5. Pepsi products: Perhaps more popular in China?  Often pronounced “Peh-see”.
6. Paper lanterns with tassels: Probably a decorating error even amongst the Chinese people.
7. Knives: Oh, the lack of knives.  Rarely is one ever included in the flatware setups.
8. Ewwwww: Ate something so bad you had to spit it out.
9. Ewwwwww: Saw something on the buffet that you didn’t get for fear of spitting it out.
10. Grammar: I know I’m mean but it’s just damn funny.
11. Spelling: See #10

Here’s a photo or two of #1 and #8 we witnessed:

#10 on the checklist:

More absolute fun to the day was a trip to Rose’s.  Jim says he’s been to one several years ago and that it’s similar to KMart.  Let’s check it out.

Above: “Full Figure” and “Lycra” in the same sentence.  It should be illegal. 

Some other finds:

Above: ONLY $3!!!!  Expect one for Christmas.

Above: Teach your children the importance of pre-natal care.

It’s hard to make this post.  I can’t stop laughing at all the stuff today.  Really.

It was a year ago that we were in the close quarters RV park.  We were surrounded by some beauty but mostly ugly stuff.  There’s lots of pictures.  In the evening we went to a casino for a cheap night of food and entertainment.

Onward to BJ’s.  Remember 1 day at a Walmart parking lot we saw seagulls?  This time, ducks geese (Alix, thanks for correcting JIM).  Very strange.  Just sitting right in the middle of the parking lot.

 Above: AND just like other locals, they obviously can’t park either.

Above: I wonder what they were buying?

And finally, how about some Dasher & Clea cuteness to end with?

 

Oh wait.  Here’s a photo from last night that I cropped.  Here’s the original.  I deleted it and then decided to recover it.    This.is.the.worst.photo.of.me.ever.  I’ll post it anyway because I know that it’s good incentive to lose the weight and because I might be fat, but your ugly and I can lose weight.

 

I’m hoping that was just air between my body and my shirt.  I don’t know and I don’t want to dig that deep.  It’s gross.  I’m gonna head over to Rose’s for some Lycra.  There.

3-6-10 Saturday (Does This Sushi Make Me Look Prettier?)

Wow.  What a day!  Yesterday Jim decided we should go snow tubing Saturday.  I was totally in agreement.  After all, the health insurance has kicked in so what the hell? 

Master Planner Jim, found snow pants available for rent so we ventured to uptown to pick them up at $9 each.  We then went to Walmart, Belks, and Target in search of water proof gloves.  Nope.  Not season.  We’ll have to make due.

This morning before we hit the road we took one more look for gloves at Dick’s.  Nope.  What they had left was expensive and and not a good fit.  I do have a knack for finding odd things.  This was odd to me.  Perhaps not to a hunter.  I especially love the deer photo.  Ugh.

The snow tubing place (Jonas Ridge Snow Tubing) was a little over 2 hours Northwest of us in Jonas Ridge.  We tried to find a McDonalds that we even had the address for.  Where the GPS took us, a McDonald’s did not exist.  We stopped at a Hardee’s (even thoguh we spotted a McDonald’s up the block) for a quick lunch.  This was my second time ever going to a Hardee’s.  What a nasty burger.  If you examine the “meat” closely, it doesn’t even resemble beef.  I think it’s 80% filler and 20% beef.  Yeah, I ate it anyways. 

Here’s some guy in Hardee’s.

If he was trying to look like Spartacus, he failed.  It came across more like Marvin the Martian. 

With our fill of plastics in our tummy we went to the snow tubing place.  It looked rather lame.  One slope.  Pretty mild.  Maybe more for children? 

With a backup place in mind we set the GPS to take us to Hawk’s Nest Snow Tubing in the town of Seven Devils.  Of course the GPS wanted to take us up and over a mountain using a closed county DIRT road.  We eventually had to stop somewhere and ask for directions like they used to do in the olden days.  Thanks GPS bitch, you sure know how to screw us up sometimes!

It was getting later and later.  Somehow it was almost 4 (we left the house at 11!!!) Time flies when you get lost.  Anyway, we made it to Hawk’s Nest.  $3 to park???  It’s already $31.00 each for an hour and 45 minutes.  We saw what appeared to be a long line of eager tubers down below.  We decided not to bother and we’d just head home. 

On the way back down the mountain, I said “I don’t know when we’ll get to do this again.”   Jim and I agreed to turn around and go back.  We paid our damn $3 to park on their mud.  We walked to the ticket counter, got the tickets, asked first timer questions, asked if there was a place to change, went back to the Jeep, got our gear bag, and headed back to the lodge.  What a dump.  Please, please say that in your best Bette Davis character.  What a dump.  The bathrooms are too small to change in.  There’s one room marked “changing room” that seems to have someone in it, and in it, and in it.  I spot a “private party” dining room door, open it (what a dump) and see that it’s empty.  We change.  We have one long johns, and jeans.  We want to wear long johns, sweat pants and snow pants per someone’s recommendation.  We forgot the sweats in the Jeep.  I’m not walking back.  We deal with just adding the snow pants to our current outfits.  It’s fine.  The place is a dump.  All 4 floors of it.  There’s nothing nice about it.  We grab out tube and head for the hills.  Literally.

There were 4 different slopes.  The line of people we saw were those that were standing on a moving sidewalk (they called it a magic carpet) which took them up the hills.  I guess it’s like a ski lift only no ski and no lift.  We had SO much fun! 

On the way up to the place we almost hit a dog.  On the way home we almost hit a deer.

We have a $25 certificate through restaurant.com for Sagebrush Steakhouse.  It’s gotta be about 7:30 about now.  The place is packed.  A 35 minute wait.  Hell no.  We drive up the road.  China Buffet.  Sure. 

Here’s the sign outside the buffet:

Above: What the ----?

---

I have a few things to say about Chinese restaurants.  They can’t spell.  They’re also the only business I know that will be nasty about “wasting food”.   We’ve seen many a Chinese restaurant with similar signs.  Some even threatening extra charges.

Next thing we notice.  These buffets are everywhere.  It doesn’t matter how small or remote the town is, there’s a Chinese buffet to be found.  Hawkinsville, GA had the best one.  Jim and I have a theory.  They have Chinese Buffet Restaurant lotto’s in China.  Picture it and be sure to use your best Chinese-American accent.  “I won, I won!  I get restaurant in Morganton, NC.  Quick, print me mispelled menus and signs!”

Menus.  Is it an American printing company that allows these poor business people to totally chop up the English language?  Here’s the menu.

 

You have to click on the menu.  The wording is hilarious.  The slogan on the lower left corner is similar to the one on the outside of the restaurant.  “Be Health”.  I love that.  Click!

My other belief is that all of the food comes from one giant central warehouse.  Of course the owners must order by number AND it’s varying grades of the food.  Like Sesame Chicken – Please circle one: Cat, Looks like chicken, Tastes like chicken, Real chicken.

I’m probably gonna catch flack for making fun so I’m apologize in advance for losing another reader over my non-appreciation for another culture, etc, etc, etc.

Don’t get me wrong though, all in all, Jim and I love Chinese buffets.  AND yes, we’re aware it’s Westernized Chinese food and in most instances not even close to what they really eat.

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you that some where between the frog legs, raw oysters, and octopus, sat a tray of sushi.  I tried the salmon roll and a crab roll.  Tasted like cold fish in white sticky rice.  No thanks.  There were 2 other kinds available but I just couldn’t do it.  2 was enough for me.  I am officially NOT a sushi eater. 

What an awesome day!

2-18-10 Thursday (Tanning)

Dasher and Clea have always liked laying in the sun.  At our ex-house in Fort Myers, they’d lay on the lanai, in the sun.  Dasher would lay out in the grass at times.  In the motor home they’d lay on the dash soaking in some rays.  In this rental house, they lay in front of the French doors or upstairs in the bathroom.  The blinds are open a little in the guest bath, so they lay in the sun when possible.

  

I wanted to see what the hype was all about.  Oh yeah, the warmth.  The heat from the sun was nice but I was uncomfortable.  I was only able to lay there for about 45 minutes.  You don’t believe that, do you? 

Speaking of laying on the floor, I went to a Chinese buffet today, thereby blowing our weekend calorie cheat on lunch.  A bunch, almost all, of Jim’s coworkers went to Chen’s Bistro.  I think I was the only outsider.  My fortune cookie made it all worth it.  Take a look.

Now take a look at the “lucky” numbers on the back.

 

So in order for me to inherit money, someone has to have some to will away (please play the “lucky” numbers) and then die leaving the winnings to me. 

In review:

Step one: Add me to your will. 

Step two: Play “lucky” numbers in large lotto drawing.

Step three: Win lotto.

Step four: Die within a year.

Pretty simple.

 

For the remainder of the day, I got involved in making more This Day In OUR History icons.  I have fun with the photo/text editing, what can I say.  In case you wondered, there was no entry a year ago.