3-6-10 Saturday (Does This Sushi Make Me Look Prettier?)

Wow.  What a day!  Yesterday Jim decided we should go snow tubing Saturday.  I was totally in agreement.  After all, the health insurance has kicked in so what the hell? 

Master Planner Jim, found snow pants available for rent so we ventured to uptown to pick them up at $9 each.  We then went to Walmart, Belks, and Target in search of water proof gloves.  Nope.  Not season.  We’ll have to make due.

This morning before we hit the road we took one more look for gloves at Dick’s.  Nope.  What they had left was expensive and and not a good fit.  I do have a knack for finding odd things.  This was odd to me.  Perhaps not to a hunter.  I especially love the deer photo.  Ugh.

The snow tubing place (Jonas Ridge Snow Tubing) was a little over 2 hours Northwest of us in Jonas Ridge.  We tried to find a McDonalds that we even had the address for.  Where the GPS took us, a McDonald’s did not exist.  We stopped at a Hardee’s (even thoguh we spotted a McDonald’s up the block) for a quick lunch.  This was my second time ever going to a Hardee’s.  What a nasty burger.  If you examine the “meat” closely, it doesn’t even resemble beef.  I think it’s 80% filler and 20% beef.  Yeah, I ate it anyways. 

Here’s some guy in Hardee’s.

If he was trying to look like Spartacus, he failed.  It came across more like Marvin the Martian. 

With our fill of plastics in our tummy we went to the snow tubing place.  It looked rather lame.  One slope.  Pretty mild.  Maybe more for children? 

With a backup place in mind we set the GPS to take us to Hawk’s Nest Snow Tubing in the town of Seven Devils.  Of course the GPS wanted to take us up and over a mountain using a closed county DIRT road.  We eventually had to stop somewhere and ask for directions like they used to do in the olden days.  Thanks GPS bitch, you sure know how to screw us up sometimes!

It was getting later and later.  Somehow it was almost 4 (we left the house at 11!!!) Time flies when you get lost.  Anyway, we made it to Hawk’s Nest.  $3 to park???  It’s already $31.00 each for an hour and 45 minutes.  We saw what appeared to be a long line of eager tubers down below.  We decided not to bother and we’d just head home. 

On the way back down the mountain, I said “I don’t know when we’ll get to do this again.”   Jim and I agreed to turn around and go back.  We paid our damn $3 to park on their mud.  We walked to the ticket counter, got the tickets, asked first timer questions, asked if there was a place to change, went back to the Jeep, got our gear bag, and headed back to the lodge.  What a dump.  Please, please say that in your best Bette Davis character.  What a dump.  The bathrooms are too small to change in.  There’s one room marked “changing room” that seems to have someone in it, and in it, and in it.  I spot a “private party” dining room door, open it (what a dump) and see that it’s empty.  We change.  We have one long johns, and jeans.  We want to wear long johns, sweat pants and snow pants per someone’s recommendation.  We forgot the sweats in the Jeep.  I’m not walking back.  We deal with just adding the snow pants to our current outfits.  It’s fine.  The place is a dump.  All 4 floors of it.  There’s nothing nice about it.  We grab out tube and head for the hills.  Literally.

There were 4 different slopes.  The line of people we saw were those that were standing on a moving sidewalk (they called it a magic carpet) which took them up the hills.  I guess it’s like a ski lift only no ski and no lift.  We had SO much fun! 

On the way up to the place we almost hit a dog.  On the way home we almost hit a deer.

We have a $25 certificate through restaurant.com for Sagebrush Steakhouse.  It’s gotta be about 7:30 about now.  The place is packed.  A 35 minute wait.  Hell no.  We drive up the road.  China Buffet.  Sure. 

Here’s the sign outside the buffet:

Above: What the ----?

---

I have a few things to say about Chinese restaurants.  They can’t spell.  They’re also the only business I know that will be nasty about “wasting food”.   We’ve seen many a Chinese restaurant with similar signs.  Some even threatening extra charges.

Next thing we notice.  These buffets are everywhere.  It doesn’t matter how small or remote the town is, there’s a Chinese buffet to be found.  Hawkinsville, GA had the best one.  Jim and I have a theory.  They have Chinese Buffet Restaurant lotto’s in China.  Picture it and be sure to use your best Chinese-American accent.  “I won, I won!  I get restaurant in Morganton, NC.  Quick, print me mispelled menus and signs!”

Menus.  Is it an American printing company that allows these poor business people to totally chop up the English language?  Here’s the menu.

 

You have to click on the menu.  The wording is hilarious.  The slogan on the lower left corner is similar to the one on the outside of the restaurant.  “Be Health”.  I love that.  Click!

My other belief is that all of the food comes from one giant central warehouse.  Of course the owners must order by number AND it’s varying grades of the food.  Like Sesame Chicken – Please circle one: Cat, Looks like chicken, Tastes like chicken, Real chicken.

I’m probably gonna catch flack for making fun so I’m apologize in advance for losing another reader over my non-appreciation for another culture, etc, etc, etc.

Don’t get me wrong though, all in all, Jim and I love Chinese buffets.  AND yes, we’re aware it’s Westernized Chinese food and in most instances not even close to what they really eat.

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you that some where between the frog legs, raw oysters, and octopus, sat a tray of sushi.  I tried the salmon roll and a crab roll.  Tasted like cold fish in white sticky rice.  No thanks.  There were 2 other kinds available but I just couldn’t do it.  2 was enough for me.  I am officially NOT a sushi eater. 

What an awesome day!