3-6-10 Saturday (Does This Sushi Make Me Look Prettier?)

Wow.  What a day!  Yesterday Jim decided we should go snow tubing Saturday.  I was totally in agreement.  After all, the health insurance has kicked in so what the hell? 

Master Planner Jim, found snow pants available for rent so we ventured to uptown to pick them up at $9 each.  We then went to Walmart, Belks, and Target in search of water proof gloves.  Nope.  Not season.  We’ll have to make due.

This morning before we hit the road we took one more look for gloves at Dick’s.  Nope.  What they had left was expensive and and not a good fit.  I do have a knack for finding odd things.  This was odd to me.  Perhaps not to a hunter.  I especially love the deer photo.  Ugh.

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The snow tubing place (Jonas Ridge Snow Tubing) was a little over 2 hours Northwest of us in Jonas Ridge.  We tried to find a McDonalds that we even had the address for.  Where the GPS took us, a McDonald’s did not exist.  We stopped at a Hardee’s (even thoguh we spotted a McDonald’s up the block) for a quick lunch.  This was my second time ever going to a Hardee’s.  What a nasty burger.  If you examine the “meat” closely, it doesn’t even resemble beef.  I think it’s 80% filler and 20% beef.  Yeah, I ate it anyways. 

Here’s some guy in Hardee’s.

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If he was trying to look like Spartacus, he failed.  It came across more like Marvin the Martian. 


With our fill of plastics in our tummy we went to the snow tubing place.  It looked rather lame.  One slope.  Pretty mild.  Maybe more for children? 

With a backup place in mind we set the GPS to take us to Hawk’s Nest Snow Tubing in the town of Seven Devils.  Of course the GPS wanted to take us up and over a mountain using a closed county DIRT road.  We eventually had to stop somewhere and ask for directions like they used to do in the olden days.  Thanks GPS bitch, you sure know how to screw us up sometimes!

It was getting later and later.  Somehow it was almost 4 (we left the house at 11!!!) Time flies when you get lost.  Anyway, we made it to Hawk’s Nest.  $3 to park???  It’s already $31.00 each for an hour and 45 minutes.  We saw what appeared to be a long line of eager tubers down below.  We decided not to bother and we’d just head home. 

On the way back down the mountain, I said “I don’t know when we’ll get to do this again.”   Jim and I agreed to turn around and go back.  We paid our damn $3 to park on their mud.  We walked to the ticket counter, got the tickets, asked first timer questions, asked if there was a place to change, went back to the Jeep, got our gear bag, and headed back to the lodge.  What a dump.  Please, please say that in your best Bette Davis character.  What a dump.  The bathrooms are too small to change in.  There’s one room marked “changing room” that seems to have someone in it, and in it, and in it.  I spot a “private party” dining room door, open it (what a dump) and see that it’s empty.  We change.  We have one long johns, and jeans.  We want to wear long johns, sweat pants and snow pants per someone’s recommendation.  We forgot the sweats in the Jeep.  I’m not walking back.  We deal with just adding the snow pants to our current outfits.  It’s fine.  The place is a dump.  All 4 floors of it.  There’s nothing nice about it.  We grab out tube and head for the hills.  Literally.

There were 4 different slopes.  The line of people we saw were those that were standing on a moving sidewalk (they called it a magic carpet) which took them up the hills.  I guess it’s like a ski lift only no ski and no lift.  We had SO much fun! 

On the way up to the place we almost hit a dog.  On the way home we almost hit a deer.

We have a $25 certificate through restaurant.com for Sagebrush Steakhouse.  It’s gotta be about 7:30 about now.  The place is packed.  A 35 minute wait.  Hell no.  We drive up the road.  China Buffet.  Sure. 

Here’s the sign outside the buffet:

Sign2 Above: What the ----?

Rant Warning

I have a few things to say about Chinese restaurants.  They can’t spell.  They’re also the only business I know that will be nasty about “wasting food”.   We’ve seen many a Chinese restaurant with similar signs.  Some even threatening extra charges.


Next thing we notice.  These buffets are everywhere.  It doesn’t matter how small or remote the town is, there’s a Chinese buffet to be found.  Hawkinsville, GA had the best one.  Jim and I have a theory.  They have Chinese Buffet Restaurant lotto’s in China.  Picture it and be sure to use your best Chinese-American accent.  “I won, I won!  I get restaurant in Morganton, NC.  Quick, print me mispelled menus and signs!”

Menus.  Is it an American printing company that allows these poor business people to totally chop up the English language?  Here’s the menu.


You have to click on the menu.  The wording is hilarious.  The slogan on the lower left corner is similar to the one on the outside of the restaurant.  “Be Health”.  I love that.  Click!

My other belief is that all of the food comes from one giant central warehouse.  Of course the owners must order by number AND it’s varying grades of the food.  Like Sesame Chicken – Please circle one: Cat, Looks like chicken, Tastes like chicken, Real chicken.

I’m probably gonna catch flack for making fun so I’m apologize in advance for losing another reader over my non-appreciation for another culture, etc, etc, etc.

Don’t get me wrong though, all in all, Jim and I love Chinese buffets.  AND yes, we’re aware it’s Westernized Chinese food and in most instances not even close to what they really eat.

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you that some where between the frog legs, raw oysters, and octopus, sat a tray of sushi.  I tried the salmon roll and a crab roll.  Tasted like cold fish in white sticky rice.  No thanks.  There were 2 other kinds available but I just couldn’t do it.  2 was enough for me.  I am officially NOT a sushi eater. 

What an awesome day!


  1. Wow, awesome video, nicely done! Looks like you guys had a super great time.

    So Garret, when are you going to let Jim do a blog, rather than him just being your toy model all the time. Would like to hear about his new job, how he likes it, how it is going.

    C'on, Garret, I know this blog is your toy, but you have to learn to share your toys, once in a while(GRIN).

    Ken from Tampa

  2. Thanks Ken. Hmmmmm, so many sexual innuendos there....

    Well, I'll "encourage" Jim to make an entry. Maybe some others could comment a request here or to him on Facebook.

  3. LOVE the live action video! Thrilling! Well...er.... uh... except for Jim stalling out. LOL. That was kinda funny really.

    And go easy on the GPS bitch please. I love her Australian accent. She can't help it if she doesn't know squat about the American highway system. Mountainous dirt roads have their place. Mostly not in winter tho. Oh well.

    Glad you guys enjoyed your tubing excursion. I was a little worried at the beginning of your slideshow when I didn't see any snow, but looks like you had plenty. Now can it please be Spring??? Pretty pretty Chinese Buffet pretty please?

  4. Please don't give up on sushi until you have REAL sushi. Buffet sushi isn't real or good. And what you had was just nigiri sushi... you seriously need to go to a good sushi bar or japanese steak house with a sushi bar. Try stuff with really different and interesting flavors- not just raw fish and rice. Crunchy spicy tuna roll, for example. So good!!

    Snow tubing looks like crazy fun- except for the random pole... That could result in some serious injury. But otherwise- way fun!!

  5. Ken, thank you for your support. But since I have to go to the new job (which is going fine thanks), make the plans to have our fun, and drive Garret's butt to said locations, I do not have time to write a blog entry. I am quite happy having Garret write the blog.


  6. Dude! That was hysterical!!! Loved it and am glad you decided to turn around! Oh and who rents ski pants?? LOve the chinese menu too... Im gonna send you a pic of an apron I saw in San Francisco that was mispelled..hope you can use it! xoxo

  7. Well we rented ski pants because to buy them is anywhere from $30 and up and we need 2. We also plan to lose weight. AND we've never done this before so kiss off. ;-) Love ya.

  8. Does Jim do all the driving when you go places together? I do the driving for us. John says he doesn't want to put a lot of miles on his car because it's 11 years old. He has 80,000 miles, I have 113,000 on my 7 year old car. Hmmm.... besides, he drives like an old man.

  9. Yeah Jim typically drives. I bitch about his driving though. ;-) He threatens that I'll have to drive.

  10. LOL@ the menu: "Cross the Deaf School, Behind Old Theater."

    That's the only way I know how to get anywhere. Insult the handicapped and give me an aged mile marker.

  11. That Deer Drag makes me very sad.

    And when I went to Mexico, I went to a karaoke place (of course) and the song titles were SO wrong. You seem annoyed by it but I just think it's funny.


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