The Lucky Cheng Visit of '06

Sometimes, what happens in Vegas ....... gets told in a blog. A few days ago I told you about being here in Vegas in 2006 with friends. I've asked Pearl to type up a story about our 2006 Vegas adventure to "Lucky Chengs". Here's the story as told by Pearl Taylor:

In early 2006 our friends, Tim & Carl, began planning a trip to Las Vegas. They'd been there the year before, and had so much fun they wanted to return, but share it with friends this time. Enter Laurie & Pearl. Tim & Carl simply had to invite us because we are soooooooooo much fun. :o)

Anyway, after a Friday night talking about, and planning this trip, Jim & Garret were also invited. Now, we'd traveled with Tim & Carl before, and we were part of the large group that stayed at Disney several years prior, along with Jim & Garret. However, the six of us had never travelled together. Let the fun begin!

All of us got together several times to discuss sightseeing ideas, must-sees, and other ideas for the trip. There were a few "must-sees": Tim really wanted to go see Cirque de Soleil's Zumanity again. He'd enjoyed it his last trip & was anxious to see it again. Laurie & I wanted to visit Hoover Dam and Red Rock Canyon. Jim & Garret wanted to take the Star Trek Tour. We all wanted to see the various casinos and maybe catch a show along the way. And finally, Tim said if we did nothing else we HAD to go to the drag / dinner show at a fabulous restaurant called "Lucky Chengs". Okay, we had a plan. As travel day got closer we began to finalize the sightseeing. Things began to come together, and soon enough, we were off. I'm leaving out a TON of small stories that are still laugh out loud fun for us, because this story is about Lucky Chengs.

In order to guarantee seating for our large group of 6, Tim had made advance reservations online, and prepaid for everything. We would reimburse him once we were there. It took us all quite some time to get ready for the big evening. (Remember, we're talking about fabulous gay men who take longer to shower, dress, primp, and re-iron all clothing.) Once dressed, we all climbed in to our rented minivan, and headed off to the restaurant. Tim had mapquested directions, and we'd left early so we could get seated, and order before the show started.

We drove up the Las Vegas Strip, and turned into the plaza where the restaurant was located. Hmmm, no big marquee sign. Maybe this was a Vegas secret. We walk through the parking lot and find the front of the restaurant. No one is waiting outside, not a lot of cars in the lot. We can hear music playing, and someone singing, and we agree that they must offer karaoke between floor shows. We all finish our cigarettes, and head inside. The "foyer" is small, and sort of plain. We are greeted by an employee who asks if we need help, Tim steps forward and shows her the confirmation ticket, and we are seated. There is no traditional menu. We were given a piece of paper which listed our choices of a few appetizers, entrees and desserts. The ummm waitress comes over and introduces herself, practically falling all over all the men at our table. We're settling in so the mood is still light. We make our food selections, order drinks, and start looking around.

First off, the only other people in the restaurant with us are a group of young women having a bachelorette party. Oy. They were loud, drunk, and totally annoying. Then there was us. That's it. I leaned over and asked where the stage was, for the show, and it was pointed out that the elevated platform with the plywood backdrop WAS the stage. Ooooh. Then, our salads arrived. Yay, we were all pretty hungry. Everyone was eating, and talking, and having fun, and I had just commented to all how tasty my salad was. I had my fork heading toward my mouth when the ummm waitress took my plate (still quite full of salad) and then took the fork from my hand, telling me I was finished. Wait! I was eating that! Well.....see that should have been the big tornado siren letting me know I wasn't in Kansas and this was NO Dorothy. As we are all laughing, shocked, stunned, angry....Tim asks when the floor show starts. We are all stunned when we are told we missed it. There's no show. Huh? The website said 2 seatings, 2 shows. Tim bought tickets for the late show. Apparently it was going to much later, as in the next night. Now, if you know Tim, or any of us for that matter, you know this isn't going to be the final word here. Tim wants to see the fabulous drag show dammit. Bring on the dancers. He speaks with our umm waitress, and then the uh hostess, and then they speak with the owner and the uhh house Diva and then they come back to tell us that they will put on a SPECIAL SHOW, just for us. Excellent. Sounds like a good idea. So while the diva prepares to entertain, the uh hostess pulls up a chair at the table and begins to chat with our men-folk.


Now our men-folk are handsome, and witty, and sometimes charming ~ but most of all, they're OURS. Laurie & I do not share well. These are OUR gay guys. Hmmph. We might have been okay with it if the uh hostess hadn't deliberately turned her back to us. This will not stop us, of course, we barge right in to the conversation. She asks the men where we're from, are we having fun, blah blah blah. We explain briefly about our group dynamic, and then say that Laurie & I are the only ones that Garret (the slut) hasn't slept with. It's a group joke and we laugh about it quite often. Mind you, Laurie said this, but our charming hostess turns to me and says "you obviously have some unresolved anger issues because he won't sleep with you." Hello???? I'm a lesbian. Last I heard Garret and I don't have the equipment either one of us finds appealing. And I'm not really the angry one....not until then anyway. Bitch.

I digress though, the fabulous JUST FOR US FLOORSHOW is about to begin. Dim the light, (yes light) here comes the uh singing hostess. She jumps up on the platform with the pole (not the stage, but another plywood box with a stripper pole) and begins to coil around it like a snake with rigor mortis, and lip sync to "Roxie Hart" from the movie "Chicago". Ok. Lip syncing is okay, but she does it badly, very badly. And try to seductively do the snake with rigor dance and then, and then, and then (you have to know the soundtrack) the album skips, and skips, and skips. Causing our drag queen to stomp off the stage err box and yell, loudly, that they were ruining her act. ::::sigh::: drama queen. So, they re-start her music, and she starts over. Oy. Then, after several minutes of that....the DIVA comes out to entertain us. She sashays over to the box, errr, stage, and climbs up. Bring up the spotlight. Cue the music. Take a deep breath. WTF!?!?! She's doing the SAME song. The same version, from the same movie, only on the other platform. Oy. Laurie and I are giggling, I think Tim wanted to slap someone, Carl's head was about to pop off, Jim needed more diet coke, and Garret was trying even harder not to laugh, and none of us are drunk enough to sit through any more. Tim gets up, we're leaving. So, all of us get up and head out. A few minutes after we leave, the shock begins to fade, and the humor starts rearing its ugly head. We are all very sarcastic and cynical. You must realize that the further away we got the harder we began to laugh, and then make snide comments and then laugh some more. The only concern now was getting Tim's money back.

The story has taken on a life of its own. We now refer to anything that is too good to be true as another "Lucky F***ing Chengs". We say its the one memory of Vegas none of us will ever be able to forget. We have photographic evidence that I hope Garret can post here so you can see the range of expressions. Sadly we have no photos of the beautiful drag queens. We now have a benchmark for all things terrible and hideous...."was it as bad as Lucky F***ing Chengs?" And maybe best of all....if we ever do a New York trip together...the MAIN location for this FABULOUS dinner / floor show is there! Woohoo! I can't wait. Viva Las Vegas!

Above: Laurie & Pearl so excited for the show. Uh and no, Laurie isn't wearing an earmuff to match Pearl's shirt.

Above: Decisions, decisions. When does the show start?

Above: Pearl burps at Tim. Not really. She's laughing hysterically since her unfinished food was abruptly taken.

Above: I'm not real sure, perhaps Tim is showing off his fine jewelry?

Above: Nevermind what I look like. "Holy Pole Dancer in the Background.... Batman."