Thursday 11-22-12 (Frankenturkey)

On Wednesday evening we cleaned house, set up the dining table and all that good stuff.

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roast timesJim and I readied the turkey on Wednesday evening.  We cleaned out the innards.  We patted it dry.  We lubed it up with olive oil and then sprinkled a mixture of poultry seasoning, salt, and pepper inside and out.  We inserted a remote read thermometer.  When Jim placed the roaster lid on to the pan, it didn’t quite fit.  Jim tried pushing down on the lid, smooshing the turkey which only slightly helped.  Crap!  We were off by so little.  If he applied pressure it would close.  We placed the whole pan with the turkey into the refrigerator and topped it with a sledge hammer.  We knew we couldn’t keep the rubber handled hammer on top of the hot roaster during cooking tomorrow so we found a nice rock we planned to use.  We calculated the cooking time range based on its weight and handy dandy instruction manual that came with our roaster oven.  We calculated 4:15 – 5 hours at 375°.  Somewhere in there.  We figured we’d start with the 4 hours, put it in at 9:30, out at 1:30, eat at 2.  Perfect.

2012-11-22 002Above: Jim in “don’t photograph me mode”.

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The next morning (Thanksgiving) we removed the roaster pan from the fridge, lifted the sledge hammer and the lid stayed down on its own.  Awesome.  We won’t need the rock after all.  We started up the turkey at 9.  At 11 the thermometer was reading 140° and climbing.  Shit!  It’s cooking too fast.  At 150° I lower the temp to about 250°.  The plan was for guests to arrive at 1 and eat at 2.  At 12:30 the damn thing was at 175°.  We dropped the temp to 200° or something.  We confirmed the temperatures in multiple spots with a different thermometer.  We put more holes in that turkey than a peg board.

When it was ready to carve, it was moist and delicious!  Phew.  Disaster averted.

Jim made my late Uncle Mike’s Sausage Stuffing.  Jim has always loved it.  With recipe in hand, Jim set out to craft it as perfectly as possible.  I think he did it.  Everyone raved about it.


I didn’t get many photos at all.  I was so busy cooking, and doing dishes and maybe a little wine too.  I should have handed the camera to someone and asked them to snap photos.

2012-11-22 007Above: The completed product.

If by chance you noticed the turkey lacer pin at the top of the breast it’s because the skin had a hole in it so Jim grafted a piece of skin/fat from elsewhere onto that section.  I present to you, Frankenturkey.


2012-11-22 009Above: Beth’s brother, David, was put onto carving duty.

2012-11-22 015Above: The food line.

2012-11-22 020Above: Josh and Erin

Josh and Erin, Ruby and Jamie left shortly after lunch.  They had other places to go for dinner.  With Beth’s family remaining, we played a couple of rounds of Buzz Trivia on the Playstation3. 

It was a great time but definitely tiring.  When everyone left, we had so much to clean up.  We had to work the next day and then right after work, we’re going to Augusta for the weekend.

Oh and I snapped this photo 11-17-12, the Saturday BEFORE Black Friday:


This guy was camped out in Walmart electronics.  There was a sign on the floor in front of him.  It was a starting line with writing on it.  Was this for some before Black Friday door buster or something?  Crazy!

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